The Troubles Q causes
by Kevin Joe Bays
Summary: Q takes the Captain on a field trip to the past which ends with some very permanant results.


Ranma/Star Trek crossover.  
  
Chapter 1version 1.0  
  
"The limits the human mind have had since science took over is staggering. I bet you don't even know the true potential of your own species." As Q spoke to him in his usual parental tone, Picard took a moment to look around him. Where he was seemed... impossible, yet here he was. It appeared to be Earth, possibly an area of Tokyo, yet something was off.   
  
"Where are we Q?"  
  
"You've already answered that question in your puny mind. Now ask me the smart question. The one on the tip of your tiny mind's brain cells."  
  
"When are we?"  
  
"We're in your Earth's twenty-first century and I'm going to show you what your race could have been. Of course, it's still a bit... barbaric, but it's a good lesson taken the wrong way."  
  
"Take me back Q."  
  
"No. Not yet. This is for your own good. Call it a two for one sale of knowledge."  
  
"What are you talking about?!"  
  
"There!" Q pointed out two men involved in a battle in a vacant lot next to them. "Violent isn't and yet, watch and I think you'll agree there's more then meets the eye with these two."  
  
At this, Picard decided to try using his tricorder. Amazingly it worked, at least he thought it did. When he aimed it a the two boys that were fighting, the interments read like a warp reactor was in front of him. He lifted his gaze and starred in awe at the sight.  
  
____________________________________  
  
"Ranma! Prepare to die!"  
  
"Ryoga, stop it. Can't you feel that?"  
  
"Feel this Saotome!" Ryoga shouted. Just as his fist was launched, he stopped. "What the hell is that?"  
  
"I don't know, but..." Ranma voice cut out as he realized how close it was. "Who are you?"  
  
"Don't look now Jean-Luc, but they've seen us. You don't want to ruin the timeline do you?"  
  
"Get us out of here now!" Just then Ranma leapt in between Picard and Q.  
  
"I said, who are you? You feel like Saffron..." Ranma said while clenching his fist. "Answer me and tell me what your doing here!"  
  
"Look at him Jean-Luc, he's so primitive and yet, he's willing to face me just because he can sense me," Q then turned turned his attention to Ranma. "Boy, I have nothing to do with that fallen thing you call Saffron. He was rejected and reduced for his own good," Q said in a menacing tone. Suddenly, his frown was replaced with a smile. "Do you and your friend over there want to see what your race ends up as in the future?"  
  
"Huh? Why would I?"  
  
"Cause, it'd be a fascinating training journey," Q said with a smile. 'And I know how you love a good training journey.'  
  
"I guess."  
  
"Q, no. You'll pollute the timeline."  
  
"Don't worry about it Picard. When I return them," if I return them he thought, "I'll wipe their memories."  
  
Picard wanted to argue more, but he knew once Q made up his mind, nothing could change it.  
  
"Hey buddy, what was that about wiping our memories?" as Ranma said this, Q snapped his fingers. "... What was I saying?"  
  
"You were saying that you were ready to go."  
  
"Oh, yeah. Hey Ryoga, wanna come?" he shouted before he realized Ryoga wasn't there anymore. "Ah damn it, he got lost again."  
  
"No, he's over here." Q snapped his fingers again and Ryoga appeared next to him.  
  
"Huh, where the hell am I now?"  
  
"Tell you what little boy, I'll get rid of that before we leave. Space is big enough without getting lost in it." With his third snap, Ryoga's eyes light up.  
  
"So that's where I am. Damn it! And it was so close to where I've been traveling too!"  
  
"Time to go!"  
  
____________________________________  
  
Cologne saw this and carefully hid herself from the man's view.  
  
"Why must the son-in-law always bring in the worst trouble makers?" she lamented.  
  
____________________________________  
  
Deep in space, the Enterprise waited for the return of it's captain.  
  
"Damn it," Riker shouted.  
  
"Calm down Will," Deanna said, trying to sooth his nerves.  
  
"I can't stand it anymore. Why can't Q just leave us alone?"  
  
"Tsk tsk Riker. Losing your cool on the job," a disconnected voice said. Seconds latter, Picard reappeared along with three others. One of them was Q while the other two were unknown to Riker. "Have fun Mon'Capitan."  
  
With that, Q vanished, leaving two very odd looking boys.  
  
"Security to the bridge," Riker called out.  
  
"Security?" the boy asked. No one seemed to be in a hurry to answer him, so he grabbed the odd looking man out of his console. "Where are we? Answer if you don't want to get hurt."  
  
"Captain?" Data asked.  
  
"Young man, I'd be careful who you threaten. We can answer your questions, but if you don't release him, you may be hurt."  
  
"Hurt? By this guy? I'm surprised he's even alive. He's got no chi at all," Ranma commented.  
  
"Data, you may release yourself, but please try not to hurt him too much."  
  
"Do not worry sir, I am fully capable of disabling his hold," as Data said this, his hand went up the Ranma's in an attempt to remove it. Minutes past by and Ranma's hand was still cemented to his shirt. "Sir, I do not seem to have sufficient strength for this task."  
  
At this, Ranma realized he wasn't going to get any answer with violence, causing him to release Data.  
  
"That's some grip you've got pal. It's amazing, considering how I can't feel any life force from you."  
  
"That is because I'm not a human. I am an android."  
  
"Android?" he said cautiously. "What the heck is that?"  
  
"An And..." Data started.  
  
"Data," Picard simply said, causing Data to stop talking. "Your name. What is it?"  
  
"Ranma Saotome."  
  
"Pleased to meet you young man. We called for security because that is the standard thing to do when we have people from out of time."  
  
"Out of time?"  
  
"Your not home anymore. This is currently the twenty-fourth century and you are a board my ship."  
  
"Ship? So this is what it feels like," Ranma commented. "Never been in a boat. Pop was always too cheap to let us use them during our trips around the world."  
  
Picard was tempted to ask Ranma what he meant, but decided that the boy was probably talking slang or something like that.  
  
"No Ranma, this isn't a boat kind of ship. This is a starship."  
  
"Starship?"  
  
"We're several hundreds of light years from Earth, voyaging through the stars."  
  
"Ok...," Ranma took this moment to inch closer to Ryoga to whisper to him. "I think these guys have lost it."  
  
"No Ranma, I can feel it. We're a long way from home."  
  
"What? Man, your the guy who can't find his way out of a room with only one exit."  
  
"Well, that was before."  
  
"Before?"  
  
"Before that strange guy did whatever the heck he did. Now I can tell you the directions to anywhere I've ever been, even Jusenkyo."  
  
"Your not kidding are you?"  
  
"Nope. I'm dead serious"  
  
"Ok...," This was really strange, but then again, he knew it wasn't impossible. Turning to Picard, he raised his voice again. "So, what happens now?"  
  
"Simple. We have to treat this as a one way trip. When security arrives, you'll go with them to the infirmary and get checked out by Dr. Crusher. After that, you'll be escorted to the rooms that you'll be living in until we return back to Earth," As Picard was saying this, the turbo lift doors opened to show two armed security officers. "Ah, if you'll go with them, I'll meet up with you shortly and fill you in on the rest."  
  
____________________________________  
  
"Hey, Ryoga?" Ranma whispered as he leaned towards Ryoga.  
  
"Yeah?"  
  
"Is your new sense of direction still working?"  
  
"Yeah... Why?"  
  
"Incase we get split up, just head back to the bridge and we'll make a last stand there."  
  
"You expecting trouble?"  
  
"I don't know. I'm still having a hard time figuring out how that guy brought us here."  
  
"I know what you mean Ranma, but if there telling the truth, then we may be at their mercy. At least until we return to Earth."  
  
______________________________  
  
Ranma and Ryoga soon found themselves in the sick bay.  
  
"Are these the boys?" a woman with blonde hair asked the security officer. The officer simply nodded. "I think I can handle these two boys. You two are dismissed."  
  
With that, the escorts left Ranma and Ryoga with the woman.  
  
"My name is Doctor Crusher."  
  
"I'm Ranma. He's Ryoga."  
  
"Nice to meet you."  
  
"Um... Do you know what brought us here?"  
  
"Q"  
  
"R?"  
  
"What?"  
  
"Oh, I thought you were testing me. You said Q so next is R."  
  
"Yes..."  
  
"So what brought us here?"  
  
"A being known as Q."  
  
"Oh... Is that an abbreviated for of his name?"  
  
"I don't think so. Shall we get started with the scans?"  
  
"Sure, I don't see why not."  
  
"Please lay down on this bed and I'll begin the scans."  
  
______________________________  
  
Two hours later, the boys scans were finished.  
  
"Remarkable. I've never seen a human body with the ability to generate so much raw energy."  
  
"Too bad we haven't eaten anything in a while. I've been feelin a bit sluggish since we got here."  
  
"Why didn't you tell me that?" Beverly asked. "Come on, I'll take you to Ten Forward. We can get you something to eat there. Plus, I'm sure you'd love to meet the bartender."  
  
"Sure. Let's go Ryoga."  
  
"Right behind you Ranma," Ryoga stated. He was still sweating over the close call he had with a beaker of water. 'If they found out my secret...'  
  
______________________________  
  
As the three entered Ten Forward, Ranma's sensed something odd. Something familiar.  
  
'That's crazy. If everything that Picard guy said was true...,' he thought as he shook his head.  
  
"Let's go to the bar and I'll introduce you. I saw her over there just a second ago." Beverly mentioned as they continued to walk. "Ranma I want to introduce you to..."  
  
"Shampoo?" Ranma choked as a woman with purple hair popped up.  
  
"No, that's not Shampoo," Beverly said with a chuckle. "That's Cologne."  
  
"Nice to see you again son-in-law."  
  
"How? This is impossible!"  
  
"And being in the future is more possible then my looking young?" Cologne asked.  
  
"Yes... No... Ah!!!"  
  
"That's Ranma... I'll have to contact Shampoo and tell her the good news. She should be undergoing her rejuvenation as we speak."  
  
"Excuse me, but is it really true? Your that granny that taught me the breaking point technique?" Ryoga asked.  
  
"That's me sunny boy."  
  
"This is amazing. I'll have to tell the captain you know these boys," Beverly exclaimed. With that, she promptly left.  
  
"From the looks of things, I'd say you just arrived," Cologne commented.  
  
"Yeah, old... uh... Cologne," he choked causing Cologne to giggle. 'That's weird. Never heard her giggle before...'   
  
Ryoga suddenly had a look of horror on his face.  
  
"If this is the future, then that means Akane is...," Ryoga said quietly before exploding. "Ranma this is all your fault! How dare you drag me to the future. Now I'll never see her smiling face again..."  
  
"What do you mean pork butt? I'm sure I heard that Q guy say something about returning us."  
  
"Really?"  
  
"Oh dear," Cologne mumbled.  
  
"What's wrong?" Ranma asked as politely as he could.  
  
"I'm afraid Q never returned you. At least not in this timeline."  
  
"Then this really is your fault Ranma!" Ryoga shouted.  
  
"Calm down Ryoga. If you're not careful, we could seriously damage this ship."  
  
"I don't care! Ranma I'm going to make you pay for this!" as Ryoga prepared to attack, Cologne moved in quickly, knocking him out with one blow.  
  
"Thanks Cologne."  
  
"No problem. I'd like to make it to my next rejuvenation in one piece."  
  
With a chuckle, Ranma realized he was still quite hungry.  
  
"Do you think I can get something to eat?"  
  
"Certainly. See where that man is standing?" Cologne asked as she pointed to a man of dark skin.  
  
"Yeah..."  
  
"Go over there and ask him to show you how to work the replicator."  
  
"Ok..." Ranma stood up and walked over the stranger. "Hello, Cologne said you could show me the replicator."  
  
This seemed to startle the man, causing him to carefully turn around.  
  
"Who are you?" he asked in a gruff voice.  
  
"What the hell happened to your forehead?" Ranma asked pointing at the man's head ridge.  
  
"Nothing happened. I'm a Klingon," he proudly stated. "My name is Worf."  
  
"Uh, right. My name's Ranma. Nice to meet you..."  
  
"You want to know how to work the replicator?"  
  
"Yeah... I'm not from around here..."  
  
"I can tell," Worf replied as he eyed Ranma's clothes. "Simply walk up and tell it what you want. Prune juice in a tall cup."  
  
Seconds later, a cup filled with dark liquid appeared.  
  
"Wow. Let me try. Um... I'd like fifteen bowls of ramen."  
  
At his request a bowl appeared. He was a bit disappointed, but took the bowl. As he did, a second one appeared. He continued to take the bowls until he had his full order.  
  
"Are you really going to eat all that?"  
  
"Sure... You want some?"  
  
"No."  
  
"That's good. More for me. Umm... Can I have some chopsticks?" The replicator complied and materialized them. "Where you sitting?"  
  
"Over here," Worf gestured. The two of them sat at the table and Worf watched as each of the bowls quickly became empty. "What are you?"  
  
"Me? I'm human."  
  
"I've never seen a human... eat like that before."  
  
"Well, ya get used to it when your father's constantly tryin to steal your food."  
  
"What kind of father would do that?"  
  
"Just the kind that wants to mold the perfect fighter I guess."  
  
"You're a fighter?"  
  
"Yeah. I'm the greatest fighter you'll ever meet. Hell, I'm so good I even took down a god."  
  
"Interesting."  
  
"I'm not lying."  
  
"And I did not say you were. The Klingon people did the same thing to our gods. They were too much trouble."  
  
"Ah... Well, I'm done eatin. What's there to do for fun around here?"  
  
"Fun?"  
  
"You know. Fun. Personally, I'd spar with Ryoga, but I don't think that'd be safe until he chills out."  
  
"I would be willing to spar with you."  
  
"Sure. I think I can go easy on ya."  
  
"I would not take me so lightly."  
  
"I won't," he lied.  
  
______________________________  
  
An hour later, Ranma picked up the unconscious body of Worf and proceeded to take him to the sick bay.  
  
"Man, he wasn't bad. He takes to fighting like a natural."  
  
"So, how are you enjoying your little romp in the twenty-fourth century?"  
  
"Your that Q guy aren't you?"  
  
"That's me. So glad you've learned my name. I'm touched. Really I am."  
  
"When are you taking us back?"  
  
"When I'm bored probably. Tell you what. How about I speed things along. I'm sure your dying to see your old stomping grounds again," he said as he snapped his fingers. As he did, the entire ship lurched forward.  
  
"What the hell's going on now?"  
  
"Nothing fancy. I just decided that it'd take too long for this ship to return to Earth. I can't wait to see the look on your face when you see it." With that, he snapped his fingers and disappeared.  
  
"Ranma Saotome to the bridge," Ranma heard Picard's voice call out. He followed the sound to the wall.  
  
'Some kind of communicator?' he thought to himself. He decided to ask about that later. For now, he had bigger things to worry about. "If you can hear me, I'll be there as soon as I can."  
  
______________________________  
  
The doors to the turbolift quietly slid open to reveal the bridge. As Ranma entered the bridge, Picard turned to him.  
  
"I don't suppose you know what happened?" Picard asked.  
  
"All I know is that guy Q told me he wanted me to see the Earth sooner."  
  
"Ah... I wonder what purpose Q has for bringing us here?"  
  
"Whatever it is, you can be sure we won't like it," Riker commented.  
  
"What's the big deal?" Ranma asked. "I mean, from what I understand it would have taken a while to return home normally. Now you can drop us off."  
  
"It may not seem like it yet, but Q doesn't usually do anything without an anterior motive."  
  
"I guess you've known him longer..."  
  
______________________________  
  
"What's that?" Ranma asked as he starred at the odd platform Picard and Riker were standing on.  
  
"It's called a transporter."  
  
"A transporter...," Ranma said carefully as if tasting the word. "What the hell does that do?"  
  
"It's complicated, but basically it separates your atoms and then reconstructs them at a different location."  
  
"What the? I'm sorry, but I don't care how complicated you say it is. I'm not lettin you use that on me until I'm sure it's safe."  
  
"I can assure you it is perfectly safe. People have been using these for almost two hundred years."  
  
"That doesn't mean much to me. Tell you what. I'll wait here and you can go down without me."  
  
"Or how about this," Q began as he appeared. "I'll take you all down!"  
  
With that, the group disappeared.  
  
______________________________  
  
"And on your left, you'll see the lovely springs of Jusenkyo," Q stated. "Go on down Picard. Have a swim. It won't hurt you."  
  
"Q, I have better things to do then play your little games."  
  
"Well, I don't," he replied as he snapped his fingers, causing them to appear farther down the slops. "Now this particular spring is the same one that young man is cursed with. Her, have a try Picard."  
  
Q then snapped his fingers and caused Picard to appear directly over the spring he was referring to. With a giant splash, Picard went under.  
  
"I don't suppose Ranma and Ryoga would like to see this place as well." At that statement, the two boys appeared.  
  
"Ranma, we're at Jusenkyo!"  
  
"Be careful Ryoga. These pools got mixed up during the fiasco with Saffron.  
  
"Oh come now, that was a long time ago. The pools have returned to normal."  
  
"You mean I can finally be cured of the pig?"  
  
"Yes my silly little mortals. Go and have a refreshing dip." This caused Ryoga to break out into an all out sprint for the Spring of Drowned Man. As he reached it, he dived in cannonball style. Soon Ryoga resurfaced and he was still a man.  
  
"My turn!" Ranma shouted for joy. As soon as his body hit the water, he noticed something was wrong. "Ah!!! I'm still a girl!"  
  
This caused Q to fall over laughing.  
  
"I know. It's just plain odd water now. I changed it after it cured Ryoga."  
  
"Why you!"  
  
"What the hell is going on?" a female voice called out. Riker turned to see a female officer standing in one of the pools  
  
"Why are you taking a bath miss?"  
  
"Is that any way to talk to your Captain?" the woman asked.  
  
"And more mayhem happens! Isn't it wonderful?... Ok, play times up." He snapped his fingers and everyone found themselves on the bridge of the Enterprise except for Ranma and Ryoga.  
  
______________________________  
  
"I'm cured! I'm cured! I'm gonna go confess to Akane right now!"  
  
"Stupid Q. What the hell's going on now?" Ranma-chan mumbled to herself. 


End file.
